Larry Liu | BBoy Lappy

So just continuing from last night. So i pitch up there and i saw a couple friends that i haven’t seen in ages right?

So i see Charlene etc, then Natalia comes up to me and like asks me “What happened to your hair? ” I was like, “huh? What happened to it?” Then shes like, no , it just looks different.” Hmmmkay?

So then Terrance comes to me and asks “Hey, Bonnie was talking about your hair, whats up with it?” I was like, “What? Wtf is wrong with it?”

Stupid little asian chinks running around talking behind my back. Fuck that chick is honestly a fucking rash. Shes like a little mosquito. Jesus christ. Can you grow up and get some fashion sense fucker. 

Dumb asian girls. Another reason why i dislike them. Can’t say shit in front of you. 

(some*) :)

Seeing as this relationship is going now where. I might as well fix everything that i tore down for you. 

Some things will probably stay broken - unfixed. Some … I might work my ass off to get it right again. 

But hey, seeing that you’re happy. Then you know. Whatever. 

Just thought we could just try it. and see where it goes. I just wanted to see … But now, i will probably live my life regretting it all. Regretting that i didn’t take the chance. But fuck, whatever. 

Now everytime i watch that Valentines video. Will remind me of how much i failed. Saai.

Wanted to message you Erin. 

Was going to call you.

To clear

everything

up

but

i never

get

the

fucking

opportunity. 

I tried to fucking find you at school. You told me you would be there. 

You weren’t. 

You said sorry, you never asked what i wanted to find you for. 

You never asked me why i needed to speak to you. 

You never asked me if i need to see you again. 

Dude. 

I am so tired… I love you alot… You honestly don’t know how i feel inside. 

Buh anyways.

JUNE!

Decided to go to school today. Just the thought of maybe talking Erin made me smile. Like, it made me get out of bed today, it filled me with hope. But i always let myself down anyways.

Did fuck all at school today. The teachers had this fun day thing for the grade 8 and 9’s. 4 people in my maths class. A couple in others etc. 2 in IT etc etc. Was pretty pointless. But i did my best to be productive - got my exam answers, asked some questions etc. 

Had to finish my final application - Rhodes. Handed it in to get it signed etc. Ready to post it. 

Pretty much just chilled @Ninos eating on free Boerewors rolls and played foos ball. I hardly play it at school because all the lower grades hog it. 

Azhar came up to me after school and asked me, “Why did you walk past Erin today? ” I was like… When? He said “Earlier in the morning, both of you literally walked past each other , i don’t think you saw her? ” Well, when i go to school with Earphones . It means i don’t give a fuck about anything. I just want to get school done with so i can go home. So i  pretty much wear my earphones everyday now. So i don’t have to listen to what other people tell me. Don’t have to listen to other peoples comments about me etc. Don’t care. 

Walking around school listening to your favourite music is really great. Trust me. It feels like home. It feels like everyone else you is just non-existant. 

Was walking and chatting with my old Add Maths teacher today and i wasn’t sure if i walked past Erin or not. As i said, i don’t focus on anything at school during movement period. Music = IDC. 

Stayed after school for a while to print out all my answers for exams just in case. I really needed to get myself prepared for the exams. So then i saw Storm and Megan by the library and Storm started to ask me “Whats happening between you and Erin?” I was so stunned. Her friends never asked me about Erin. Tamara also asked me earlier in the day. But you know, i pretended everything was perfect. But they caught on. By the end of the day, i just wanted to leave the school. I was so over it. So over not talking properly to her. So over not having a proper relationship. So i just told Storm how i really felt. I don’t really care what she thinks. Just as long as she knows that i did love Erin. So nothing was false about. She has a really good image. But i told myself that i should rather see how people really are inside, after a good couple of months. So i can see what they really like, how they really treat others and the people around them . How they face their problems, how they respond to school work, how they are around someone they like. 

I didn’t want to make the same mistake like my first relationship. Fell so deep, took ages to climb out of that hole. I literally gave everything to my past relationship. So i am expecting something…overwhelming this time. Something fucking real. 

After a good couple of months, ya. I know Erin now. Long story short. She is an amazing girl. She just needs time to develop herself. She will be an amazing girlfriend. That guy in the future will be a damn lucky guy. Salute him for getting her. She deserves it anyways. I think im just forcing herself to be something she isn’t. I really can’t make her happy haha. 

Anyways, was just finishing talking to Storm then i saw the picture of Tamara and I… We wanted to give that to Erin because im her “bf” and im taking a picture with her “best friend” Hmm. All very fictional. I felt really… bad. Like… i think i let Erin’s friends down? I really think i did… They expected too much of me i think. They expected me to take care of Erin but ya. I really can’t. I don’t even know her life. I can’t even step into her bubble. 

Anyways, mom came home from work and i drove to Sibiya for the Chinese Event. Its the 1st of June. Chilled with the usual friends. Saw lots of old friends that i haven’t seen in ages. Caught up a bit. Saw Christina as well. Wow she is in Unisa already… 

Saw Michelle as well, wow she looks so different now. Everyone is so grown up. 

Why do i always see Justin carrying lil babies? Is he trying to get brownie points from girls to show that HE ADORES KIDS? Bro. Lay your hands off. You put your hands in every fucking possible corner. Can you leave ALL the girls alone? You like… plant seeds of love in every single one of them. 

We were all in the arcade room playing foosball and then we saw this girl that was looking after the kids. 

WOW DUDE, my first response was like … O_O

She looks JUST like BRI! Wow. I was like, Anderson Anderson, look. LOL. My whole group was like O_O… The lil kids were all hanging around with us and they really good mates with me. So i was like, ey kid, go ask her for her age. LOL at the end, we finally got to know. She was 21….. Was like. The fuck dude. No …no…Was upset :(

Anderson was like, Aren’t you with Erin dude? Why you looking at other girls? To be honest… I really don’t know. I already knew like..2 weeks ago how Erin actually feels about me. I just cant believe that she would just say she loves me and now all this… I don’t know! I don’t want to hear it, i want to see it. Like… Ya, i might not show it myself , its because i feel insecure because she says she loves me… When…like she knows there is an expiry date for us. Which is so stupid. 

But anyways, long story short. I thought that girl was highly attractive. She gave me this “look”. I knew im done looking for girls. So im over it. It’s such a guy thing. Funny thing is that i will never see her again. Which is good. 

But ultimately, Larry. Erin is going to wait for you bro.